I was reading Angie's blog tonight http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ and decided I needed to be at least 1/4 as open and honest about my thoughts, as she has been about hers . . . only, I'm not sure were to start . . . how about this . . . started my Masters program on Monday . . . still working on my professional certification class . . . currently teaching school 5 days a week . . . raising 10+ tadpoles . . . and 7 chickadees. . . a sister living in an apparent earthquake hotspot . . . and what seems to be a sudden multitude of new born babies, when I would like just one!
I know that God knows the desires of my heart, after all, He placed them there, right? So, how do I get the desires of what I think I want and or separate the desires of what I think the world thinks I should want.
Do I really want to be married? Yes, but how do people go about finding the right person? Prayer would be a good place to start, after all eharmony is just not working out . . . do I really want a baby, you bet. However I need the husband for that and well we just covered the problem there. So, I have to take what I am given and make sure it fits to my life or fit my life to what I want or fit what I have to include what I want or refocus what I want until I finish what I have been given?
I walked or ran into teaching first because I was tired of being a professional nanny, secondly because I knew it was what God wanted me to do. I was hired at a wonderful school and I still love getting up in the morning. So, I found my profession later in life than most people, perhaps I am just 10 years behind on the marriage and baby end as well. Only problem, my brain does not stop being fertile with age, were as the female body does eventually quit being fertile with age.
So, if I am going to start with prayer then I should pray for . . . belief that God will see and bring to pass the desires of my heart . . . my desires to match with Gods desires . . . body fertility that matches mental fertility. . . my husband, or rather the hope that God has one in mind . . .
1 comment:
Love it Heather. I think it is so important to get these thoughts out - weather by blog or journal. We are so much plugged-in now it is sometimes just easier to "post" than to sit and write.
Where do you find these blogs you reference? (This Angies and the CF Husband one? They are interesting and heart wrenching!)
Post a Comment